SOCIAL NEDWORK

01 THE PREMISE

Every social network has the same problem: too many posters. We fixed it.

Social Nedwork has the whole apparatus — feed, likes, comments, replies, follows, search, notifications — and one gate. To post, your legal name must be Ned.

Not “Ned” as a vibe.
Ned on your government-issued ID.

02 THE RULES

Anyone may join.
Anyone may scroll, like, comment, and follow.
Only Neds may post.
Ned status is proven, not claimed.

03 VERIFICATION (this part is real)

We integrated Stripe Identity — the same ID-verification service used by companies with revenue. You scan a government-issued ID in the app; your legal name is checked against the canonical list of accepted_ned_names.

There are exactly three statuses: NED, NON_NED, and ADMIN_NED.

You cannot buy your way in. Do not ask about ADMIN_NED.

ned-verifier — 80×24

$ scan government_id
  → stripe identity: OK
$ extract legal_name
$ consult accepted_ned_names

  match     → NED ✔  welcome to the nedwork
  no match  → NON_NED ✘  tough to be you

04 EVERYTHING ELSE WORKS

In every respect except one, it is a normal social network. A real iOS app, on the App Store today — with Sign in with Apple and an EULA, which every social network legally must have.

FEED with photos & video
COMMENTS + replies
LIKES on everything
FOLLOWERS / following
SEARCH for Neds
NOTIFICATIONS
BLOCK & report
ONE (1) posting rule

On the App Store now → get Social Nedwork for iOS.

05 FREQUENTLY SHOUTED QUESTIONS

I’m not named Ned.: Tough to be you. (actual string from the rejection screen)
Can I still use it?: Yes. You can watch Neds post. There is dignity in the lurker class.
What if I legally change my name to Ned?: Then you are a Ned. This does not trick the system — this is the system, working as designed.
Which names count?: The canonical list lives in the database. “Ned” is on it. Petitions are considered.
Why?: An experiment in artificial scarcity of posting. Also it was funny.